We had to present one side of the argument, then the other, and decide one way or the other, when I went to high school.

We quickly came to realize there can be many sides of an argument.

Opposing camps can find common ground, and from a thesis-antithesis model, achieve a synthesis. Or one side might be bent on the other side’s annihilation. Skilled in rhetoric, for argument’s sake, one tries to tidy up an issue into a manageable form, but the audience is quick to pounce on the grounds that it’s not as simple as that.

Jesus was often presented with choices: pay tax to Caesar, or not, and to refer that all back to God, or not; stone the woman, or not; talk to her, and have a conversation that might actually help her and do some good, or not; declare the primacy of a commandment, or not, but, so often, that was a losing game for the questioners. People have to play with fire, and it’s a dangerous game, but we have to play with fire.

Would that Jesus were here to answer some of our questions! Like Camus’ protagonist  in “The Fall,” I sometimes think, “If only…. Ah, but what a relief that we’ll never have that chance!”

Nearby, a Catholic high school just fired a high-ranking gay member of the staff, because he had just gotten a gay marriage. Gay marriage is legal in Washington.

What type of society should we have in Washington state? We could select a random group of a 25 Washingtonians and assign them the task. After they had completed their work in amicable, productive, reasonable fashion, one finds out that in the group were Wiccans, Christians, Jews, Native Americans, Buddhists, Atheists, Hindus, Muslims, and three types of Catholics. The group members look around and grin, knowing it’s not necessarily easy to guess who is who.

A theocracy is a different type of world from that. So is high school. If ever a religion sought to create a hotbed of dissent against its very self, it would find its model in Catholic high schools. They’re well-supplied with kids who went to Catholic grade schools and are adept at countering the psychological warfare that goes on between educators and schoolkids. Unreasonable demands are commonplace, and come from those who cannot meet the demands on themselves. The kids are judged by those who demand, “Thou shall not judge.” There can be tensions. The adults actually aren’t a whole lot further down the road of self-knowledge than the kids.

Everyone has a part he has to play.

The gay vice principal has to be himself. He loves someone, and they have to live their unique lives, as men, as a couple. He can choose not to put his position at risk, but he has higher priorities, and faces the consequences of his actions.

The Catholic high school has to be itself. It has its own set of rules, consistent with Catholic doctrine. The school administration has to carry on the governance of the school. They are answerable to the Church, and the parents. Employees of the school must be acceptable to the administration. An employer tries to hire the best candidate for a position. It’s easy to see that a Catholic school might hire someone for a position other than a person in a gay marriage, which is something the church has made a vocal point of unequivocal opposition. 

Students have to be themselves. If a student spots hypocrisy– someone doing something he says noone should do– the student will not be mollified with condescension. What is wrong with a gay marriage? As long as we’re talking about sexual issues, what about all the other frowned-upon activities? Lust? Pedophilia? Adultery? Masturbation? Premarital sex? Pornography? Divorce? These things seem relatively okay to gay marriage, because a gay person who gets married gets fired, whereas everybody else doing the other things doesn’t have to worry so much. Who decided homosexuality and gay marriage are different, and much worse than those other issues? What is the compelling rationale?

Catholics understand that we have a Catholic theology of marriage. Not everybody can have a Catholic marriage. Not everybody wants one. Not everyone is Catholic. A Catholic mariage is a thing unto itself no more threatened by a civil gay marriage in Washington state than by a nondenominational wedding in Oregon. Catholics willing and able to have Catholic mariages will have them.

A civil marriage is not a Catholic marriage. As a Catholic Washingtonian, I absolutely support the right of all Washingtonians to have a legal marriage that is appropriate to their sexuality, that prevents discrimination, that solidifies their status as equal citizens.

If the high school in question had decided they would evaluate their vice principal’s employment on the merits of his work, taking into consideration the complexities of a changing society, and would discuss the issue openly, I would support the school’s thoughtful approach. Sometimes– not always, but sometimes– the adults are wrong, and the kids are right. Sometimes the state is ahead of the Church.

One can throw stones, or one can talk. Nobody should have to let anybody make him throw stones, either at someone else, or at his own true self.